I don’t know why but at night, it seems to be the time where I get most depressed. I start to feel lonely more and dwell on what could be happening rather than just remembering that I am alone. With only my family and one best friend near by. There is no boyfriend near by, just 7 hours away. But it really is taking its toll.
I love my boyfriend so very much, its just telling him I don’t want to move my home town is just going to be hard to get used to. So I think I am stalling so I can enjoy where I live more and appreciate it for the beauty that is England, my home. I know its only 7 hours away, but its still far enough to really miss home and to never really get back home easily because its NY. How far away from home can you get? I really want to openly say to him that I don’t want to move. But it puts too much pressure on him to move here instead and he is barely making money as it is. To earn enough money to buy a ticket to England.
I am sure he is probably earning more money than me at the moment. With me not having any shifts at work for a month. Its just a useless job and I don’t really want to leave it yet in case I do get work and I can then earn some money as I study for my web design position. But I know I have to do what I have to do.
I suppose its just me being strange and I should really focus on my list first and sort them out one by one.