Just a little sentimental

I honestly didn’t think I would get sentimental but its slowly hitting me. It is only a week till my 27th Birthday. I know its meant to be a happy time and celebrate being a year older, but I almost feel the opposite. Instead its a reminder of how much things have and will change. I have 11 days left in the UK.

Please don’t get me wrong! I really am excited to be going to Japan and living there. Its a dream come true. I cannot wait to move into my apartment and settle into my new life. I’ve always wanted a fresh start in a place where I don’t get reminded of things that happened in the past. Or feel like I am stuck in a runt and can’t escape. I can hopeful work in an environment where I won’t get stressed most of the time or be given guilt trips into doing something I don’t want to do.

2012 was the most difficult year I have ever had. Yet there was some people who told me to apply for a job I had always wanted to do. It had been a dream since I was young to be a teacher. I wasn’t really sure on what subject I wanted my speciality to be. It was either a dance teacher or and English teacher. It wasn’t until High School where I really felt inspired to be a teacher.

I had this amazing English teacher, Mrs Clarke. To me, she was a teacher who didn’t treat me like some child they had to teach. She would push me to try my hardest and help me in any way I could. I even took extra classes after school so I could get more help with my assignments and get the highest grade I could. I passed my GCSE English with two Cs, which to me made me really happy, even my form tutor was really excited and praised me for my hard work. It might not seem like much to other people. But for me to have someone reach out and help meant a great deal than I could ever express.

I even more grateful to my friend Kaytee R. She has helped me through a lot over the past three years. Be it deciding on if a relationship is good for me or applying for work. She has always listened and given me honest advise. But I am going to miss her so much. She supported me through my counselling sessions and helped me out of my little shell that I cocooned myself in. I owe her so much and I will be totally lost without her. I won’t have my drinking, dance and shopping partner with me any more. Plus I am going to miss her adorable little baby girl. She is just as beautiful as her mother, whom I am so proud of. Love you my one and only <3

If it wasn’t for Nessa, I don’t think I would have understood what it was like to have a friend from the very start. We’ve known each other since we were four years old. We used to live across the road from each other and play everyday. We may have lived apart from each other for a long time. But we have always kept in contact and kept each other up-to-date with how things are going. She moved back to the Island well over a year ago and she helped through counselling too. She knew how troubled I was and how it was making me really depressed. Plus she knows me better than anyone, well she has put up with for the past 23 years.

Then there is my family. We seem perhaps a little dysfunctional and we aren’t that close. But there is one person who I am going to miss so much that I really hope they will be fine while I’m away. Since I came home from Uni, I think I’ve become more close to my Mother. We spend a lot of time together and I don’t just mean at home. We go shopping, out for meals and go watch movies. We have never been this close and she is definitely my best friend. Although it did take a lot of time to convince her that 3/4 length trousers didn’t suit her, but I go there with determination!! The past couple of years have been so difficult for her as she has struggled looking after her Mum who now has dementia. Yet she has become strong in dealing with it all that I hope she doesn’t crumble while I am away. Mum has always put others first and then later herself. She can get angry at times but that is because she been strong for far too long. She may not like my decisions in life or the boyfriends I’ve dated. But she has always done anything she can to help. She may be overprotective at times, but it only means she cares. I really do love my Mum and I hope that Dad and younger Brother are going to look after her while I’m gone. But its going to be hard to get used to her not being around.

Of course I am grateful to everyone else who said I should go for this job and do something more with my life. Especially friends I have made at my old job. Their support and kind words really mean a lot. Even more so I felt a little out of place at times because some didn’t understand me. But thank you all so much!!

At the end of the day I am only going to Japan, its only a long plane ride away. I will be coming home when ever I can. And it may only be that I will be away for a year. If its more than I will be sure to come back and surprise you all.

Sorry for being sentimental but I wanted to say something now.



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