Tag Archives: confused

Horrible Day


I finally had my first lesson in learning the Koto (Japanese Harp) yesterday with class 1A. I was little nervous as it was my first time learning an instrument in Japan, even more so as the music is in Japanese and in Japanese style. Thank goodness most of the strings are just numbered and don’t have a name. Therefore, it’s a little easier for mean the teacher made a key of all the names, just in case.

It is a very lovely instrument and I can’t wait to have another lesson. I would like to really learn it and then show off to people back home that I have a sixth instrument I can play. I was also asked if I wanted to learn another Japanese instrument and I wasn’t going to turn down such an offer. I might as well learn as much as I can while I am here.

However, today was another matter. It was both horrible and good.

I was unsure on how I would do with my last lesson with my 3K students. This class of boys were the first class I ever taught back in April and I didn’t know what to expect from them. This past year I have seen all my students open up and accept me as their teacher. Even more so to the third year classes. They were a really interesting group and it will be sad to see them leave. But they still haven’t technically finished school. But I wish I could be there for their graduation ceremony. I don’t think I am welcomed though. I know I should asked if I can play but I feel like that would be imposing on them.

Anyway, I was 15 minutes into teacher their lesson. Only to have my JTE, come to the class and ask me to go to 1B instead. This is when I go into panic mode, because I totally didn’t plan their lesson and no extra materials like it said in my SLP. Because I had a new schedule placed on my desk on Monday. And when I asked the JTE  if I have 3K and not 1AB, he said yes. So I was really confused. I had planned a little speech at the end of 3K class as a thank you and good luck. But now I won’t ever get to say it to them (TT__TT)

Okay, so its update time!

Now I haven’t been talking much to the guy I like recently because it’s hard to start a conversation. However, he still does his cute, nervous and shy head nod while smiling. I think he only does it to me… I have not seen him do it to anyone else. So that’s something right?

I am still unsure about it all really. It’s a little strange that he works at the same school I do, but that also makes me wonder if its worth pursuing such a thing. It definitely is a hard to stop going around in circles.

It doesn’t help that I haven’t heard anything from him yet. Maybe writing my email and number in pencil wasn’t a good idea.. or he never opened it because he doesn’t like me the way I think he does. Which is also possible.

So confused!

Please excuse this rant but I am so confused!! I thought things were going well. But I guess I was kind of kidding myself. I really do have a habit of making situations awkward.

On the other hand, I have been getting on with things okay recently. I’ve managed to do as much work as I can during my free lessons and I’ve successfully managed to do most of the prep. work there. It just gets delayed when it comes to marking other teachers worksheets. They say its not in any rush, but the sooner its done the better so I can carry on working on my own lesson plans and worksheets. I am getting used to creating worksheets now, plus I remember to use American-English and to check my worksheets before I print them. Compared to when creating worksheets for training T_T.

I’ve met some great people here in Kuji. I’ve started to become a regular at a few places. And I am sure that the people at Lawsons are going to get annoyed when they see me enter, but they always greet me with a smile. Plus my friend likes to tease me by saying one of the guys who works there is cute and that I should give him my number or talk to him more. He is just trying to get me to have this love triangle to see where it will get me. As long as I am not put into the same situation as last Saturday then I am okay with that.

Last Saturday was hell for me. I am never going to a bar on my own again! I know little Japanese but to be told to sit with three drunk Japanese guys is the worst thing ever!! One guy kept trying to talk to me.. in his totally drunk state. Then tried to touch my hand, I shook his hand twice and then he tried to rest his head on my shoulder. This same guy told me he a girlfriend…. WTF! I am sorry, but that was hell. I couldn’t understand what they were saying most of the time. When they tried to speak in English, they mumbled. I will be put in that same situation ever again!!

Otherwise, its all going well so far. Though I think I need to stop buying clothes >.< I am trying to blend in by buying Japanese style clothes.. but they are so pretty anyway that I can't help it! I've even made a friend in one of the clothes shops I go to. She came up to me on Sunday and asked for my name. Sadly, I have kind of forgotten her name. But its lovely how she came up to me and spoke to me in English. Maybe I should ask her where is the best places to go in Kuji, she can be my like tour guide 😛