I know I have been really bad for not posting on this site for a really time. But that is about to change. Things have been rather challenging over this year. There many been things that have been playing on mind and have kept inside for far too long. I remember the time when I was going through therapy… and its something that I always tell my friends, and thats is to never keep things inside. Venting out your thoughts is a rather helpful thing to do, so here I go.
Recently, I have been spending a lot of late nights (when I am trying to get to sleep esepcially) reflecting back on my life… so be prepared for a lot negative and some positive thoughts!
Its the start of 2016 and the end of 2015!!
Well I’ve had my fair share of okay New Year Eve’s and 2015 happened to be the worst of them all. It was going really well. I was having a wonderful time with my best friends in Osaka.As we all had decided to spend New Years together and spend a few days before hand, going to USJ and shopping in Shinsaibashi. Yet just before going shopping on New Year’s Eve, I get a message from the guy I like telling me we can’t meet up and that he doesn’t want any thing more. So basically I got rejected. The day before I arrive in Kyushu for me weeks holiday here. So basically its become a wasted trip where I had booked hotels and flights so I couldn’t just give up and return to Tohoku. I got so pissed off at myself more than him. I can’t believe I allowed myself to think that I would actually talk about possible starting something. I am not going to change my mind to transferring to Kyushu. There are more better opportunities to meet people here. I have seen a lot of Korean people in Fukuoka City, so I might be able to improve my Korean and Japanese at the same time. Its just his timing totally sucked. No, sod that, it FUCKING SUCKED!!!!!!! I was on the train and almost burst into tears because I can’t believe people actually do that.
I am just glad I was with my best friends at the time. Because they have been wonderful and cheered me up with some shopping. Even though I was very good and I didn’t actually buy much because all the hotels and shinkansen’s are costing a fair amount. I proud of myself for not going crazy but I hope I will be okay for the rest of the month (>.<)
I know life goes on and I know that nothing is going to go to the way I want it to. So I am just gonna accept what happened and do things differently in 2016. I plan to move after my 30th Birthday. So I have the new experience to look forward to. I have got to plan a lot for that as I will have to drive across the country to get there. But it will do me good to get into new surroundings and try many new things. As much as I like my schools in Kuji. So far, that is all that is keeping me there. I am very happy to have taught one year group for all of their High School Life and I hope they don’t forget me. But its time for me to move on and move away from the long winters. I am not good with the cold. So I hope moving to a warmer climate will suit me better.
So here’s to the New Year! New Experiences! and to New Friends!!
皆さん、明けましておめでとうございます！！今年はどうぞよろしくお願いします m(_ _)m
Well winter vacation is here and soon it will be Christmas. Its strange to think that this year, I’ve been so busy to even think about what I am going to do Christmas day. I still haven’t thought about what I want to do. I know how I would love to spend it. Such as spending it with a special someone who wants to spend the day with you as you do with them. That moment where you get to open a present which was specially bought with only you in mind. That warm feeling as their arms is wrapped around you as you want your favourite movies together and drink a few beers. But alas, Don’t Date December is going very well that my perfect way to spend Christmas is not happening this year too. Although, if a hot Asian guy in a suit were to come to my apartment to surprise me, he definitely won’t get turned away LOL I really should start packing for my small trip to Osaka in a few days. Its just that I need to pack but I don’t really have a large bag. So I need to use my brain and see what I can pack. I would love to be able to only have to carry around one bag. But this is me, and I don’t pack lightly. So I will probably be taking two bags. I also need to think about taking bedding with me as I will be staying at a friends house for a night. To which I am very thankful for and I will repay you this time Annik!!!!!! I am currently now just waiting for painkillers to kick in before I go to sleep. Bad cramps are the worst. However, today is not so bad as I was able to take ibuprofen before it started to get really bad. I just need to buy more tomorrow as I didn’t realise I had very little left (like one tablet). I hope it kicks in soon so I can sleep!!!
I finally got the approval of my company to work at a small English Cafe school. I will be teaching a small group of adults easy English. It will be my first time teaching adults. So I will do my very best to teach them. I won’t be alone, there will be a Japanese native speaker there to help me. It will also be great to have another job where I can earn that extra money so I can hopefully go to Tokyo this winter!
So Up-Date time!
I cannot believe that I have been living in Japan for almost three months already. Seriously, it feels like I have been here for a month or so. Yet I’ve gotten used to waking up at 6 or so on week days. That is something I would never do in England. I was more of a night owl compared to here. But I can’t stay up too late on work days because I just don’t function well if I don’t get enough sleep. But the teachers I work with are really nice and I get on with them okay. They don’t talk to me as much as they talk to other teachers, again, the language barrier is a pain in the ass.
I’ve managed to make my apartment my own now. I don’t have much furniture but I have been able to buy a 22″ Monitor to plug into my laptop which is only like a 11.6″. So the bigger the screen, the better. I have bought an A3 printer scanner which has helped me out a lot! I have had a lot of worksheets to make and being able to print off a master copy at home has helped. But sometimes I don’t realize there is a mistake until I get to work the next day T_T talk about being stupid (>__<))) There has been a few problems with making friends here though. It turns out that there are still real ass jerks here in Japan. Or I just have amazing luck in finding said jerks! By jerks, I mean guys who are only after one thing and lie to you with a straight face. However, I hope things are different with this guy I am going to meet up with again next week. We met through a friend and we have been talking a bit via email. But I hope we can be good friends. He is the first guy I have met who is the same age as me! I was starting to think that everyone in the city where I live is only 24 years old! So not helpful to someone who is 27. I do miss my best friends back home though. I am sure they would give me the perfect advice on how I should handle some people. I would at least then have someone to talk to and won't brush me off because if we are seen out together, then people will think we are dating. I honestly hate how some people just think pushing me to one side is going to make me jump through hoops next time I see them. Just as I was starting to really enjoy my life here and feel comfortable with my friends and having a laugh. Something drastic happens and they make me feel like crap because I am worried I will go back to how I was when I was England. I left England for a better life and do something completely different where I wouldn't have to feel pressured into doing something I didn't want to do. At least the work load recently hasn't been too bad and I have been ale to organize my time a lot better. Having to deal with making a worksheet for every single lesson I do is very time consuming. I know it needs to be done and sometimes I give myself a lot of work to do because I make my own lesson plans. But it still be great to not have to do so much for a lesson. But the company I with have a certain way of doing things and we have to go by their rules. One annoying thing about not getting much free time, is that I don't really get enough to draw like I used to. That and because I didn't bring any painting materials with me. I have tried to look for water colour paints, but all I've found is those in tubes and I prefer the little slabs of water colour so I don't waste anything. I haven't even been able to find any water colour paper. I don't really want to get my parents to keep sending me things, so I am just going to stick to digital art for the time being.
Please excuse this rant but I am so confused!! I thought things were going well. But I guess I was kind of kidding myself. I really do have a habit of making situations awkward.
On the other hand, I have been getting on with things okay recently. I’ve managed to do as much work as I can during my free lessons and I’ve successfully managed to do most of the prep. work there. It just gets delayed when it comes to marking other teachers worksheets. They say its not in any rush, but the sooner its done the better so I can carry on working on my own lesson plans and worksheets. I am getting used to creating worksheets now, plus I remember to use American-English and to check my worksheets before I print them. Compared to when creating worksheets for training T_T.
I’ve met some great people here in Kuji. I’ve started to become a regular at a few places. And I am sure that the people at Lawsons are going to get annoyed when they see me enter, but they always greet me with a smile. Plus my friend likes to tease me by saying one of the guys who works there is cute and that I should give him my number or talk to him more. He is just trying to get me to have this love triangle to see where it will get me. As long as I am not put into the same situation as last Saturday then I am okay with that.
Last Saturday was hell for me. I am never going to a bar on my own again! I know little Japanese but to be told to sit with three drunk Japanese guys is the worst thing ever!! One guy kept trying to talk to me.. in his totally drunk state. Then tried to touch my hand, I shook his hand twice and then he tried to rest his head on my shoulder. This same guy told me he a girlfriend…. WTF! I am sorry, but that was hell. I couldn’t understand what they were saying most of the time. When they tried to speak in English, they mumbled. I will be put in that same situation ever again!!
Otherwise, its all going well so far. Though I think I need to stop buying clothes >.< I am trying to blend in by buying Japanese style clothes.. but they are so pretty anyway that I can't help it! I've even made a friend in one of the clothes shops I go to. She came up to me on Sunday and asked for my name. Sadly, I have kind of forgotten her name. But its lovely how she came up to me and spoke to me in English. Maybe I should ask her where is the best places to go in Kuji, she can be my like tour guide 😛
Greetings from Japan!!
The past two weeks has been rather surreal. I still think I am really in the UK but only the primary language is different. Of course there was a lot of trouble in actually getting here. I will never be flying via British Airways ever again! I am really disappointed in the fact I was not allowed to fly the day I wanted. I arrived to training a day late; however I wasn’t the only one so I felt a little better after hearing that. Although, seeing as training already started, that meant that I didn’t have any time to get rid of the jet lag and adjust to Japanese time. For the first week I had very little sleep at around 4-5 hours as I kept waking up around 3:30am or 4:30am. I was able to sleep better in Morioka. I think it was because the training was more relaxed and I felt less pressured to do the tasks. However, I was able to meet the most amazing group of people ever. As well as making friends with other Brits who are venturing off to other parts of Japan and the two other British ALTs who are in Iwate Prefecture. I was able to make really close friends in Morioka and I do miss their company over the past couple of days.
However, since I’ve moved to Kuji-shi, I’ve managed to feel more at home. I have been meeting other ALTs every day and have gotten to know most of them rather well. Having that little support group has really helped me. Plus it helps that they speak better Japanese than me. Although I have been told that I am more than a beginner at Japanese then I am. I don’t know if that is true. But I hope to improve at least over the next two years.
Today was a very big day for me. I introduced myself to the Board of Education in Kuji. I did feel a little out of place as I kind of interacted with people but I mostly just sat there quietly and tried to listen to what people were saying. Then I was taken by my IC (Independent Contractors or “Helpers”) to my schools to greet the Principle, Vice Principle and the head of the English Department.
The first School I went to was one of the JHS’, it seems like a very big school and I have still yet to find out which classes I will be teaching. But the Head of English seems very nice and supportive. I even introduced myself to the teachers in the staff room in Japanese. I didn’t really expect it but they all smiled at me and that made me feel so at ease.
The JHS I went to was very small in comparison. I think there is a total of 50 students through out the entire school. The 2nd and 3rd years only consist of 15 students in each year. Very small indeed, but that means I get to learn less names. I was shown my desk in the teaching room. It really made me feel like part of the small group of staff. I was even given a tour of the school and spoke to the 3rd years. They seem like a nice group. I think I might even get to help decorate the English room as it seems pretty bare at the moment.
Then lastly, after a 50 minute drive I arrived at the HS I will be working at. It is definitely the largest school of the three. Everyone seemed to be interested in this new Gaijin (Foreigner) in their school. Students were staring at me and smiling, to which I smiled back. Two female students seemed very happy to see me and said Hello to me. It is so strange to be treated this way. I was shown where my desk would be and introduced to the two other English teachers I will be working with.
I did have an interesting chat with my IC about holidays and going home. They suggested that I stay in Japan for the summer as I will be able to cope with that. However, going back to the UK during winter may be an idea. It gets cold in Japan and it is easier to get depressed during that period of time. Especially if I wish to stay in Japan for two years or more, going back home for a holiday will help.
Who knows what will happen over the coming year. But at least the first part of the greetings is out of the way. It’s the next part which is going to be embarrassing as it’s a greeting to the Students during assembly. I’ve heard stores that the students do something to greet the new teacher before they introduce themselves in English to everyone. I am so glad I have experience in being in front of a large group of people. However, that has been either singing or dancing. It has never been talking about oneself.
So wish me luck!!
Oh yes, I am still very much alive. Well at least I hope I am. Otherwise I’m sure thing are still going on fine without me. I’ve been so busy with my new Job that its very much a big part of my life at the moment. I’m working to help pay back my parents. And they are being supportive at the moment. I can’t wait till I can fully repay them. But I still have to see if I am able to get more contracted hours at work first before I can be really happy. As 14 hours a week just isn’t going to help much. Might pay back the mortgage, but that isn’t including all the bills I am going to have to pay. But I am really enjoying myself. So I really can’t complain. Everyone is so nice to not only the customers but other partners (its a working partnership company ^__^ ). So thats probably why everyone gets on and tries to do the work to the best of their abilities. Although there is some who still need to get used to things. But it will be easier come January, when we don’t have to worry about the Christmas rush. oooooohhhhhhhhhh I got my first real Commission!! I’m so excited but nervous at the same time. I have a fellow partner at work who has giving me some photo’s which he would like to be digitally re-do for him. He has very generously given me £30 to draw the image and is willing to pay for a photo frame on top of that too. OMG! I’m so nervous about doing it really well so he doesn’t regret paying me to do it for him :XD: I really hope it doesn’t result in a complete and utter disaster! I will be trying my best, I just hope I don’t over do it! Its strange actually being paid for some thing that I wouldn’t normally get someone to pay me to do. On here, DA, I’m used to just getting requests and not being paid to do it. I guess it really does make a bigger impact on how you go about things. I’ve started the piece but thats only the basic skin layer first. But I hope I can complete it before Christmas. Get the frame. And print it off at such a good quality that its worth £30. Maybe its just being really nervous about doing this project… My colleague did say, that I could make a living out of doing it. But being an artist, I am my worst critic and I don’t think I’m at such a level where my work is worthy to be paid for. But I can’t say that to a customer. I don’t want them to lack faith in me. Thats just bad business XD Otherwise, sorry to those who usually read my KHR chapter journal entries, I have been reading but I’m working so much (did 45 hours at work last week :XD:) that I don’t even have enough to catch up with the anime and manga that I’m following. I feel so behind on everything. I don’t really know what to do with my spare time that I do have.