I don’t know how many people have ever found themselves in this situation but I am getting annoyed by it. I really do think that when a parent has a child above the age of 12, they should just let them find their own identity and ways to live their own life. I’ve not had the best relationship with my parents which is probably why I hate it when they try to control my life too much.
Also I am 22 almost 23 years old, yet they insist on telling me what not to do and then get annoyed when I do the opposite. Like my new hair cut for example, I’ve had a lot of people say it really suites me compared to my parents who say it looks horrible. Ok they might be loosing their little who really they lost when i turned 16. I am not a child any more and I can do what I want. Its just so frustrating when my parents tell me what to do.
Another thing is that Mother doesn’t think I am ready to get married because my bf is in NY. She won’t ever understand what I feel because she wants me to be this little child and stay that way. The obedient child who does what they are told. If I was to follow in my mothers footsteps, then I would have gotten married when I was 20 and that isn’t me at all.
MY parents just don’t seem to let me find my own personality and life style because in their eye’s I am still young. It just gets really hard to find the support I want to live my life really.
I know in my last entry I said I would focus more on studying. But since I started doing this website, it seems that I have been so focused on getting it all set up that I haven’t even gotten round to properly studying. I know it is bad and I should really work on getting a better job that isn’t going to keep holding me back. Its just that I’ve been so side tracked with coding the skins and getting it all the way I want it, that I suppose really, I’ve been thinking that working on the site is helping me with my studies, which it has in a way.
However, now that I have got things the way I want it, I can now focus on getting the studying back up to where it should be and finally finishing this web design course. I just lack the motivation to really get things sorted and to do what really needs to be done, which is to stop sitting at my computer all day trying to figure out what to do when there is things I could really be doing.
Like today, I spent most of my time working a painting (which can been seen on my gallery page). Its for a navity picture competition I think. My mother said I should do one and that everyone in the family is going to do it. So that should be fun. But it isn’t really studying web design now is it?!
Well seeing as I tend to spend most of my time on the computer, I thought it would be nice for a change to start properly blogging again. So hopefully I will remember to keep posting here every so often. As well as helping me with my grammar more, as I do have a tendency to not only misspell but to not use the correct grammar too.
Well after having a bit of a down time last night, with things still not being dealt with. But once I take of them one bit at a time, then it should all work out better than it has been now. Of course, I can’t deal with everything related to; my relationship, finding work, studying web design, dealing with family life, and trying to move out all in one go. I should really make a list of all the things I really need to deal with. Like a task list just so I can sort them out. Then by a goal date, I should have done it all on the list.
Now that would be a really smart move really. I should do that now.. here….
Sazzy’s Task List No 1
- Talk with bf about plans for the future, including; worries about where to live, How to get all the money needed, Travel costs to get there, suitable job plans before leaving current address, and queries about visa’s etc.
- Decide on dates to move out. When would be it appropriate to move in with my best mate, and how to get my stuff into the new apartment.
- Studying time troubles; Arrange a schedule to sort out times to study and times to have breaks. This course needs to be done soon/quickly in order to get a well paid 9-5 job.
- Family Issues at home; Really need to sort out of its good to talk about all the problems considering my family or just to let them rest for a while.
- Find work; well I know I can’t really think this through till I finish the course, but getting some extra money in the mean time will help smooth moving out easier.
Well I will get back to the list soon 😉