Tag Archives: Romance

Romance

This is going to totally be a rant about my thoughts, but I’ve been doing nothing but sit here and wonder about what it must be like if I would in a romantic relationship right now.

I’ve been living in Japan for over two years and I’m sure most people are still wondering why I haven’t found a boyfriend yet. I sometimes ask myself this question but then I remember the real reason I am here. I came to Japan to teach, not to go in search for a guy every day. I have finally found a job that I love doing and nothing is more rewarding that see a student whom in their first year at High School didn’t even speak English to finally being able to memorize 5 sentences with only looking at pictures to give hints in English in their third year. I’ve seen these students grow and actually speak more to me in English than in my previous job, which was a horrible place for me to ever go to. I admit it wasn’t a wise choice, but there was no where else for me to go.

Romance is going to be hard in a different country where there is different ways to date some one, where public affection is frowned upon and above all, where foreigners are treated differently than native people.

Everyone can tell me to get there, go to pubs and clubs, try to chat to people and make new friends. Yet they fail to see how hard that actually is for someone like me. Its taken me this long to realise that I know enough Japanese to speak to natives. It might not be great, but I can get by. For someone who is highly paranoid and has very little self-confidence, surely you can see how much of big step this is for me.

However, this doesn’t mean that I can waltz up to a hot Japanese guy and instantly spark a conversation with him. Its very daunting to actually speak to someone in a language I’m not good at. Of course, this can also be a great conversation starter, but only if its the right people. You see, here, some guys perceive foreign females to be easy and that they can ride that white horse in an easy step (Its a nice way of saying that they just want to have sex with a foreign girl and that’s it). Its harder for a female to settle down than a male here.

What I am trying to say, is that as much as I would love to find romance, I am still happy with how things are and I’m busy enough with working 6 days a week teaching students who always make each day interesting and I’m never bored.

So I hope you all understand. If you think I am still avoiding dating, I might be because its expensive to go out drinking every week when I’m on little pay. Plus I’m saving up for visiting my friend in Tokyo. I would love to meet someone, its just I have a lot to deal with first.

At the end of the day

Firstly, I must apologise for this post in advance as it is the end of the day. Its been a long time since I wrote my thoughts down, so there may not any logical thought behind the change in topics.

Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of drama’s, some of which I have yet to write a review for. But I guess I’ve really been watching them because its all totally fantasy and will never happen in real life. Especially as I am watching a lot of romance drama’s. Yet it makes me realise how much I am totally lacking in that department. I always say I’m waiting for the right guy. But its not like I am actually putting myself out there. I guess the reason is because I’m in a foreign country and I will never be fully excepted in this society. I fully except that. It will be the same in any country. Yet, how can I say I am looking when I don’t really go out. For a start, I have a major paranoia problem mix that with a low self-esteem and add in very little knowledge of Japanese. I feel its okay if you know a lot of Japanese and can go out and meet people. But its difficult for me and I don’t know what to really say. It may seem like I am making a lot of excuses and not doing my self in favours. But it is really difficult.

However, I had recently bought the Genki textbook and workbook to help review the very little that I know. It is really helpful to start over and it gives you little tasks and helps you with writing and grammar. It is for Japanese, but I am tempted to translate into Korean too, as I am trying to study both of them. So I might work on the Korean translation tomorrow when I’ve finished preparing my lessons for Tuesday. I want to be able to speak in both Languages before I eventually return back to the UK. Hopefully, I will find someone before I return back to the UK. But I will have to see how that goes. The real reason I came to Japan was to learn the language and be surrounded by it everyday so I had to learn. So instead of drawing, I seem to be spending most of my free time studying. I just want to make progress.

SO if there is anyone out there who wants to help me practice Korean/Japanese, then please contact me!!!!!!!

Home made fudge!

FudgeWarning! This is post could get a little depression at some point or another.  So if you don’t want to be influenced by my mood, then stop reading now!

So first all, I made fudge for the first time a few weeks ago!! I really wanted some students to try it as they haven’t had any before and I just wanted to see how it would turn out. The first try was amazing. I made myself so happy that it turned out so well. I then made a bigger batch on my second try to let my students in ESS club and Brass Band Club to try. They really liked it. I just hope I don’t keep making it. There so much sugar that I don’t to have to buy it.

Now lets get this out…

So recently, I’ve noticed that a lot of people are getting engaged this year. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for my friends who are and I wish them the best. But really, its reminded me of how I am still single and no where near close to marrying anyone. I don’t think I am even close to anyone to even think about it. I have in the past with my last relationship and it marriage was talked about etc. But as you can see, I’ve not been with anyone since we broke up. Through my own choice and bad luck with guys. So its probably a good thing that I live in a place where most guys don’t talk to you and its harder when you don’t really know the language.

However, I love it here and the fact that I am not rushing anything. I have a lot of work and I volunteer to start and stay late at one school, so my mind is else where. It just gets a little frustrating where I wish I had someone I could talk to when I get home. Someone who wants to be close to me (not a creepy obsessive way!).

I am just letting off steam as its building up for a while now. But I am someone who is after a long term relationship rather than a one night stand, which is not in my nature. I am technically still young, so I am not too worried. Its just once I turn 29, next year… I will start to panic and maybe even think about country I want to really settle down in…..

Bored!

So Up-Date time!

I cannot believe that I have been living in Japan for almost three months already. Seriously, it feels like I have been here for a month or so. Yet I’ve gotten used to waking up at 6 or so on week days. That is something I would never do in England. I was more of a night owl compared to here. But I can’t stay up too late on work days because I just don’t function well if I don’t get enough sleep. But the teachers I work with are really nice and I get on with them okay. They don’t talk to me as much as they talk to other teachers, again, the language barrier is a pain in the ass.

I’ve managed to make my apartment my own now. I don’t have much furniture but I have been able to buy a 22″ Monitor to plug into my laptop which is only like a 11.6″. So the bigger the screen, the better. I have bought an A3 printer scanner which has helped me out a lot! I have had a lot of worksheets to make and being able to print off a master copy at home has helped. But sometimes I don’t realize there is a mistake until I get to work the next day T_T talk about being stupid (>__<))) There has been a few problems with making friends here though. It turns out that there are still real ass jerks here in Japan. Or I just have amazing luck in finding said jerks! By jerks, I mean guys who are only after one thing and lie to you with a straight face. However, I hope things are different with this guy I am going to meet up with again next week. We met through a friend and we have been talking a bit via email. But I hope we can be good friends. He is the first guy I have met who is the same age as me! I was starting to think that everyone in the city where I live is only 24 years old! So not helpful to someone who is 27. I do miss my best friends back home though. I am sure they would give me the perfect advice on how I should handle some people. I would at least then have someone to talk to and won't brush me off because if we are seen out together, then people will think we are dating. I honestly hate how some people just think pushing me to one side is going to make me jump through hoops next time I see them. Just as I was starting to really enjoy my life here and feel comfortable with my friends and having a laugh. Something drastic happens and they make me feel like crap because I am worried I will go back to how I was when I was England. I left England for a better life and do something completely different where I wouldn't have to feel pressured into doing something I didn't want to do. At least the work load recently hasn't been too bad and I have been ale to organize my time a lot better. Having to deal with making a worksheet for every single lesson I do is very time consuming. I know it needs to be done and sometimes I give myself a lot of work to do because I make my own lesson plans. But it still be great to not have to do so much for a lesson. But the company I with have a certain way of doing things and we have to go by their rules. One annoying thing about not getting much free time, is that I don't really get enough to draw like I used to. That and because I didn't bring any painting materials with me. I have tried to look for water colour paints, but all I've found is those in tubes and I prefer the little slabs of water colour so I don't waste anything. I haven't even been able to find any water colour paper. I don't really want to get my parents to keep sending me things, so I am just going to stick to digital art for the time being.

Its been so long!

Its been so long since I actually wrote a post. Life here is so different than being back in England. As well as the fact that I managed to find a guy I really like and the feeling is mutual!! Oh yes people!! Its MUTUAL!!! We haven’t started dating yet. We are just friends first because I meet the guy like 3 weeks ago.

On Friday, three weeks ago, I was taken to a restaurant by a local guy and the two male Interac employee’s. Being the only female had its perks, well it was less confusing any way. While we were ordering and I was talking to my Mother on Facebook (my social skills then were bad but there was some problems at home and it was the only time I could talk to my Mother). Anyway, I was told my friend Jay that I was getting checked out by a guy in the kitchen. I didn’t really think anything of it at first because this is me. I am totally not popular with the guys back home. So me being me, I kind of felt happy that I was getting attention (who wouldn’t) but I didn’t know what guy he was talking about. As the night went on, I managed to make eye contact with this really cute guy. He totally caught my attention (>___<). Once my pizza eventually came as it was the last one to arrive, OMG is he a good cook. That night went really well. My friend Jay was also able to find someone who caught his attention. So the following night (it might seem sad but who cares :P), the three of us ALTs went back again. This time we sat at the bar and got to know the staff. I was to see more of the guy and see his cute smile as he waved to me from the kitchen. We stayed for a bit, then we went to Karaoke. Well Jay, a new friend we made, the guy I like and myself (totally outnumbered again). It was an interesting night. The guy I like can really sing and rap! But he asked me if I was married and if I had a boyfriend. So he must have been interested right? After Karaoke he took Jay and I to have Ramen at like 3am >.<. On the way to the restaurant, he said "I love Sarah!". I was so happy that I blushed and hid. But we have been contacting each other everyday, so it must be a good thing right?! But this week I have seen him everyday. So fingers crossed!