Tag Archives: Thoughts

Everyone’s getting married….

I keep seeing a lot on Facebook that a lot of people are getting married and I kind of feel a little left behind. But then I remember a few things.

It’s not that I am being left behind, but I am happy going at my own pace and right now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and I am excited about what is to come. It may not be that much to some people, but finding someone with the same interests as you is very hard and even more so that you get along well with many things in common. So I want to make sure that I don’t ruin anything and I hope that the feelings are mutual before I say anything. There is no point rushing anything until you know for sure. I want to just go with the natural flow of things. If I force anything it could totally backfire or it could be the right nudge it needs to start something great. I honestly can’t really tell how things are going to go. Yet, that doesn’t mean I am going to expect someone to date with marriage in mind. I always grew up thinking I would never marry and I was happy with it. In fact, it’s not really an important thing to me. If it happens, it happens. I am happy with things right now. I am more excited with where things are going in the next year or so.

Now, I might be too cautious to some people. But I have my reasons and I don’t want to make the same mistakes as I have done in the past. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things and the situation right now is perfect for me. So I just need to remember that and carry on with MY LIFE.

Also, it doesn’t matter that I’m not near that stage, I am building a stable life where I enjoy the job I have teaching great students who interact with me and make each day unpredictable. I might be making a huge step in March but as I get closer to being 30 years old, I am no longer nervous about taking it and I look forward to new situations and opportunities it will bring. So where I am now is a very good place for me and that is what matters.

This doesn’t mean that I want everyone asking me questions about my personal life or ask if I met someone. Only those close to me know and they support me with my decisions. I want people to accept that I want some privacy about somethings because it isn’t only about me. It’s about those I love and cherish as well.

 

It’s been a while…

お久しぶりだよ!

すみません、私は忙しかった、しかし書き込みませんでした。12月に日本語能力試験N5を取っているので、今多くを勉強しなければなりません。

また、シルバーウィークで福岡県に行きました。本当にたのしかっただよ!私は新し友人を会えました。冬休みで福岡に戻りたいです。でもみんなさんはとても忙しだから、私は行くないかもしれません。。。

私はもっと後で言うだろう。

 

Romance

This is going to totally be a rant about my thoughts, but I’ve been doing nothing but sit here and wonder about what it must be like if I would in a romantic relationship right now.

I’ve been living in Japan for over two years and I’m sure most people are still wondering why I haven’t found a boyfriend yet. I sometimes ask myself this question but then I remember the real reason I am here. I came to Japan to teach, not to go in search for a guy every day. I have finally found a job that I love doing and nothing is more rewarding that see a student whom in their first year at High School didn’t even speak English to finally being able to memorize 5 sentences with only looking at pictures to give hints in English in their third year. I’ve seen these students grow and actually speak more to me in English than in my previous job, which was a horrible place for me to ever go to. I admit it wasn’t a wise choice, but there was no where else for me to go.

Romance is going to be hard in a different country where there is different ways to date some one, where public affection is frowned upon and above all, where foreigners are treated differently than native people.

Everyone can tell me to get there, go to pubs and clubs, try to chat to people and make new friends. Yet they fail to see how hard that actually is for someone like me. Its taken me this long to realise that I know enough Japanese to speak to natives. It might not be great, but I can get by. For someone who is highly paranoid and has very little self-confidence, surely you can see how much of big step this is for me.

However, this doesn’t mean that I can waltz up to a hot Japanese guy and instantly spark a conversation with him. Its very daunting to actually speak to someone in a language I’m not good at. Of course, this can also be a great conversation starter, but only if its the right people. You see, here, some guys perceive foreign females to be easy and that they can ride that white horse in an easy step (Its a nice way of saying that they just want to have sex with a foreign girl and that’s it). Its harder for a female to settle down than a male here.

What I am trying to say, is that as much as I would love to find romance, I am still happy with how things are and I’m busy enough with working 6 days a week teaching students who always make each day interesting and I’m never bored.

So I hope you all understand. If you think I am still avoiding dating, I might be because its expensive to go out drinking every week when I’m on little pay. Plus I’m saving up for visiting my friend in Tokyo. I would love to meet someone, its just I have a lot to deal with first.

Joker Game ~ Review

Joker GameNow this is going to be a true Kame Fan girl post. I’m not even going to apologise for it. The only people I will apologise to are my friends who went with me to see it. The fan girl in me couldn’t hide away from such fan service scenes.

 

Please be aware, there are spoilers and I don’t have the tags in use, so please at your own risk.

 

This movie is based a novel with the same name. Its set during the Second World War where a man sentenced to death is saved by a mysterious guy and is asked to become a spy. Now, my reasons for watching the movie, apart from all the smexy Kame scenes were to see what his English would be like. I haven’t seen his baseball movie yet, but from what a fellow Kame fan said, he didn’t really appear much and I’m not really a baseball fan anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

Compared to other roles that Kame has played, this was the first time I’ve seen him in a more serious role. He has been in comedies, romance drama’s etc. But this is the first movie where he gets to do cool fighting scenes, run about, and of course, the torture scene (if you don’t understand, then you clearly haven’t seen the trailer for this movie).

I have to say that I was also surprised to see Koide Keisuke. He has been in a few movies I’ve seen but I wasn’t expecting to see him in Joker Game. But it was a nice surprise.

I do have to say, that I wasn’t really impressed with the female lead, Fukada Kyouko, I felt like she doesn’t know much expression.  There was too many mysterious things about her and even I couldn’t understand how she suddenly changed clothes when they weren’t even around it. I had no idea where she hid them…… I haven’t read the novel so I can’t really tell if they were meant to appear out of thin air or not. I know that Spy’s are meant to have many hidden techniques, but it was way too strange,

Now, I am still not too sure about Kame having his hair sleeked back, but at least it allows for many neck porn shots and he does pull off wearing hats well. Even more so when Kame is in a suit, When Kame is in a suite, nothing can go wrong. That and Asian guys pull of wearing a suit better than western. It just doesn’t fit a western guy as well as Asian guys, which is a little strange. But I am not complaining. I am surprised as to how Kame can keep a white suit, white. Its hardest colour to keep clean, yet to see Kame running, jumping, hiding and getting his smexiness on in the suite, I do wonder if the cleaners really like having to keep washing it all. Yet, when it came to the Kame torture scene, I failed to keep my voice down and boy was that a hot scene. Kame with dripping wet hair, tied up with rope….

I really couldn’t contain the fan girl inside and I am sure my friend were worried I would hyper ventilate. But Boy! That was definitely one of the best scenes!!

Overall, the movie was interesting to watch. Even for someone who hasn’t read the novel. It was great to see Kame have a little romance, but it wasn’t the main part of the movie. Instead it was more about him trying to find something of importance and getting chased by the villains (which for this movie, just so happens to be a British guy…. Well we do play the best villains.).

It’s definitely a movie to watch if you are a Kame fan. It’s refreshing to see him in a different role and genre of movie where isn’t the main focal guy in a romance drama. So watch it when you get the chance. I am going to have to buy the DVD when it comes out or my fan girl side will hate me for ever!

Christmas Holiday

 

Finally.. an Up-Date!

I am sorry for not posting this any sooner, but I have been really busy with helping students write about their own winter vacation and then preparing them for their final exams. As well as grading them for their speaking and reading tests.

So this winter vacation has been really eventful. To start off with, I had a 忘年会 or “Forget the year party” with my main school. It was the first time I had been asked out to join a party with this school and it was hilarious to see how light weight some teachers are. There was an after party for female staff, which I was invited to as well. Although I didn’t realise I had to prepare a gift for a secret santa… Bugger!

The next day, I travelled to Tokyo and went to the best café I’ve ever been to!
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The Moomin café is the cutest café I have ever been to. So if you happen to go to the café on your own, then they will put a Moomin character opposite you to keep you company. How cute is that?!?!?! It was the only reason I want to go to Tokyo a day early before meeting going to Narita Airport.

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The next day, on December 21st, I was almost an hour late getting to the airport to meet my parents because I got on the wrong train. But I was so happy they arrived safely. I was worried they have big difficulties because its their first holiday abroad and its to Japan where they have no knowledge of the language. After meeting them and then finally eating my breakfast, we set off to Tokyo Station and walked around for a little bit before catching the Shinkansen to Ninohe where I left my car, so I could drive them my apartment in Kuji.

For the first week, we stayed in Kuji and I took them to some places near by so they could see local sites etc. As well was meeting my friends in Ninohe where we had a Christmas Party and I made my first cake in Japan!! As well as successfully cooking a roast-like Christmas Dinner for my parents. It was great to finally to be able to cook food I had missed for such a long time.

On the 28th we took the Night bus to Tokyo and went to Asakusa to see the Temple there. But in typical British fashion, it was raining and I didn’t have my umbrella with me, so we ended up going back to Tokyo station as I wasn’t really sure my parents would want to go to Ikebukuro (my favourite part of Tokyo)… We waited there before getting on the Shinkansen to Osaka. I was really nervous about this part of the holiday because I’m not really that good at planning a holiday (compared to my friend Hoiming) and my Japanese is fairly limited.

I still had fun and I think my parents enjoyed seeing the city and Osaka Castle. I think they might have gotten a little sick on Shinsaibashi Suji (a famous long shopping roofed arcade – its really hard to describe). The main two reasons to go to Osaka is because…

No 1:
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Hoiming go tickets to KAT-TUN’s countdown LIVE on New Year’s EVE! We got such great seats this time and it was totally worth the price. Being so close to main stage and to the travelling stages where I got to see Kame’s might fine self perched on the rail to him doing his sexy hip swaying 😛 I did scream a lot, and Hoiming had to put up with strange comments, but we both enjoyed the concert. It was just the train ride back to Osaka station that was not so pleasant. Getting literally pushed onto a train at 2am is not really my cup of tea and the train was so crowded that everyone almost fell over.

No 2:
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Finally going to Universal Studio’s Japan and going to Harry Potter World. It was fun to go on the different rides. The only downside was, it was really cold and we weren’t really dressed for it to snow, which it did. Plus, the time we could get to get into Harry Potter world was 5:30pm. We had to walk round for hours before we could go to the place I wanted to go to. But we got to go on four other rides, so it wasn’t so bad.

It was fun to be back in Osaka after a year, and it possibly might turn into a yearly thing if Hoiming can get tickets again next year. So that will be cool. But I won’t be there for long because I have to fly back to England to go to my Older Brother’s Wedding on the 2nd of January 2016. I really need to save up money for that trip and book my flight back in plenty of time. Its just a shame that I will be going to the wedding without a plus one T_T but who knows, there is still 11 months to go 😛

FOr the last week of my parents vacation, we stayed in Kuji again and I took them to Ryusendo Caves. Mum had a little panic attack on the never ending stair case, but she did and I proud of her for not giving up. But I didn’t really give her a choice and dragged up and down the stairs 😛 At least she can say she has done it now 😛

Now my parents are planning to back to Japan in 2016 in March so they can see the Sakura in Sendai, which is where they want to go next. So that will be nice. It just means I have to save a lot of money this year for both vacations next year >.<

Overall, I had a great vacation with my parents and I was a little sad and worried when they travelled to Tokyo alone but they got back to England safely and I’m glad they enjoyed themselves.

At the end of the day

Firstly, I must apologise for this post in advance as it is the end of the day. Its been a long time since I wrote my thoughts down, so there may not any logical thought behind the change in topics.

Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of drama’s, some of which I have yet to write a review for. But I guess I’ve really been watching them because its all totally fantasy and will never happen in real life. Especially as I am watching a lot of romance drama’s. Yet it makes me realise how much I am totally lacking in that department. I always say I’m waiting for the right guy. But its not like I am actually putting myself out there. I guess the reason is because I’m in a foreign country and I will never be fully excepted in this society. I fully except that. It will be the same in any country. Yet, how can I say I am looking when I don’t really go out. For a start, I have a major paranoia problem mix that with a low self-esteem and add in very little knowledge of Japanese. I feel its okay if you know a lot of Japanese and can go out and meet people. But its difficult for me and I don’t know what to really say. It may seem like I am making a lot of excuses and not doing my self in favours. But it is really difficult.

However, I had recently bought the Genki textbook and workbook to help review the very little that I know. It is really helpful to start over and it gives you little tasks and helps you with writing and grammar. It is for Japanese, but I am tempted to translate into Korean too, as I am trying to study both of them. So I might work on the Korean translation tomorrow when I’ve finished preparing my lessons for Tuesday. I want to be able to speak in both Languages before I eventually return back to the UK. Hopefully, I will find someone before I return back to the UK. But I will have to see how that goes. The real reason I came to Japan was to learn the language and be surrounded by it everyday so I had to learn. So instead of drawing, I seem to be spending most of my free time studying. I just want to make progress.

SO if there is anyone out there who wants to help me practice Korean/Japanese, then please contact me!!!!!!!

The things I’ve learnt

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. Well, trying to at least. It tends to get really complicated and it all gets confusing. So here are the things that I’ve learnt.

First of all, Life is never going to be easy. Nothing will pan out EXACTLY how you want it to. Because you can’t consider everything clearly on the spot. There is always going to parts that we don’t think about it. Its not like we are super human and read all the different outcomes of one decision. As much as I wish I could see how things turn out or learn more about a situation, then that will definitely help me. But sadly that is not the case T__T

Second, If you are a foreigner in Japan and came for the possibly trying to settle down here… yeah, I am giving up on that right now. Most Japanese guys are interested in sleeping with a foreigner as some kind of trophy and never think that those who actually stay in Japan for longer than a holiday and the ones who are not those kinds girls. So guys should just stop even trying. It kind of makes me not want to be sociable here in Japan. Because I’m going to see at that horrible kind of prize. I am sure there are some guys who would like to be in a relationship where they want to settle down with a foreigner. But its even harder to find such a guy where I live. Sorry to say it.
(This is more of a reminder to myself than anything, I’ve just had horrible experiences with guys here so far, it could change in the future. But it most likely won’t).

Third, I really need to decide on how long I stay in this country. There have more moments than I like, where I do feel alone and like an outcast. But that is not just in the staff room at my schools. During my first year it was a lot better because I had a friend who I met up with a lot as we both arrived in Japan together. But since they left, no one has filled in the gap and I am at a lose at what to do. Now, I have been visiting friends in other cities and they have been a great help. Its just there are now some other factors creeping in where I feel like I just want to curl up into a ball and hide away.

Recently, I was asked if I could do more English lessons at my second job. Now I was very reluctant to say yes. I was basically asked if I could 6 days of the week. No offence, I love helping people learn English and have English conversations with them. . I was then told that it would move to Thursday’s so I would then get the weekend off to help plan for Monday’s lessons. This week however, I was asked to continue with the Saturday. Am I really over worrying about this? Because I work at three High Schools, most days I have 3-4 lessons I have to plan the whole lesson and worksheets. For myself, I also add in drawing pictures to help the students learn new words. All of this takes up a lot of my time. Recently I’ve been awake at 1am trying to finish it all and have the alarm sent for 5:40. That’s only a little over four hours sleep. I honestly don’t know how long I am going to last with all of this.  I signed a contract where I told my company that my second job would not interfere with my primary job. I just hope that it doesn’t or I am going to be under so much pressure that I hope I can cope with it all.

Fourth,  I really would like to try living in Korea after my time in this city is up. I really enjoyed my week holiday there during the summer and would like another holiday there to see different aspects that I didn’t get to see the first time. Then I will make the final decision of trying to apply for work there and move there for two years or more. The only uncertainty I have, is that most foreigners who have lived in this city in Japan can stay here for 3 years and then move. This is my second year and I don’t know if I have a longer limitation because I don’t work for the same company. That’s the only annoying this is that, I honestly don’t know how long I can here for. I don’t know if I can ask someone.

If I do get only 3 years, then I will certainly move to Korea in two years time for maybe 2 or 3 years. Before moving back home to England and finally move into my own house which is currently being rented. I just want to experience these two cultures before moving back (or if I go back depending on how things pan out). I feel like I wasted most of my life and wondered around in circles. Even last night I had a dream I was back at my old job and it was yearly review session with the head of my department. When someone I knew came into the room, sat down beside and then elbowed me when I started to agree that I was crap at my job. Instead, he flipped my switch and told my head of department what I really thought and got so angry that I punched them in face because I had enough. After that I woke up. I hope I never have a dream like that again. I want to be in a job that I enjoy and teaching here in Japan is something I enjoy and its a great life experience. I just wish I can make a decision on what the next chapter is going to be and when so I make more concrete plans.

るろうに剣心 ~ REVIEW

Rurouni KenshinI cannot believe I failed to review this when I first saw it in August 2013.

I am such a bad person!! But seeing as I plan to see the second movie this weekend (or in the near future), I am writing it now.

Before I get started, My wonder friend Lydia (Bluesnow – you know who are!) got me into the anime back in 2009. OMG! Its been so long since I saw that anime and the OVA’s but I clearly remember them. That is how good it was! Honestly! Watch them!

To the movie..

When I first heard who was playing Kenshin, my heart stopped, I fan girl screamed and became overly excited. Sato Takeru is one of those little gems that you find once in a blue moon. I first saw him in Bloody Monday (which I did write a review about a few years ago, but it got lost when I wasn’t able to export all my entries to back them up). He was good in the drama next to Miura Haruma, that I went in search for other drama’s he had previous been in. He was great in Rookies with his wild dread-lock styled hair. Then I found the first drama he had been in, Princess Princess D, which to this day, refuse to remember what it was like because I couldn’t bare to see him in a lolita style dress. Stick to just being awesome as you Takeru-san!!

The rest of cast was well chosen. Although, some I had not seen before, other’s I had seen and not realised it. Especially, Takei Emi (Kaoru Kamiya in the movie) who I found out played Hibino Tsubaki in Kyou, koi wo hajimemasu.

I was really interested in seeing how they were going to shoot the action scene’s. Because Kenshin is  a badass with a sword and has great agility. I had watched the trailers for the movie many times and sang along with my favourite J-Rock band ONE OK ROCK! The movie scene’s really didn’t disappoint.

It was great to see Takeru running around in this sexy way avoiding swings from well choreographed sword fighting and knocking them down with Sakabatou (thats the name of his sword for those who don’t know). With his sexy calm collected facial expression to the small polite, yet cheeky smile when he is talking to Kaoru-dono.

Sexy Kenshin

If you are a Kenshin fan, then this is a must see movie! It is great to see the characters come to life as an actually person. And I am sure Sato will forever be remembered for such his great performance as Kenshin for the rest of his life. But its definitely not someone to be ashamed of. Its a great movie, has great fighting scene’s and blood splats every where with the one of the most sexiest Japanese actors playing the main role.

What is there not to love about this movie?!?!
(thats a rhetorical question, BTW!)

Home made fudge!

FudgeWarning! This is post could get a little depression at some point or another.  So if you don’t want to be influenced by my mood, then stop reading now!

So first all, I made fudge for the first time a few weeks ago!! I really wanted some students to try it as they haven’t had any before and I just wanted to see how it would turn out. The first try was amazing. I made myself so happy that it turned out so well. I then made a bigger batch on my second try to let my students in ESS club and Brass Band Club to try. They really liked it. I just hope I don’t keep making it. There so much sugar that I don’t to have to buy it.

Now lets get this out…

So recently, I’ve noticed that a lot of people are getting engaged this year. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for my friends who are and I wish them the best. But really, its reminded me of how I am still single and no where near close to marrying anyone. I don’t think I am even close to anyone to even think about it. I have in the past with my last relationship and it marriage was talked about etc. But as you can see, I’ve not been with anyone since we broke up. Through my own choice and bad luck with guys. So its probably a good thing that I live in a place where most guys don’t talk to you and its harder when you don’t really know the language.

However, I love it here and the fact that I am not rushing anything. I have a lot of work and I volunteer to start and stay late at one school, so my mind is else where. It just gets a little frustrating where I wish I had someone I could talk to when I get home. Someone who wants to be close to me (not a creepy obsessive way!).

I am just letting off steam as its building up for a while now. But I am someone who is after a long term relationship rather than a one night stand, which is not in my nature. I am technically still young, so I am not too worried. Its just once I turn 29, next year… I will start to panic and maybe even think about country I want to really settle down in…..

옥탑방 왕세자 ~ Review

Rooftop Prince옥탑방 왕세자 or Rooftop Prince

Again, sorry for the late review of this drama T_T

I watched this drama after I watched “Missing You” because I wanted to see how good Micky would be in another drama.

This really didn’t disappoint my expectations. After the loss of princess, Crown Prince Lee Gak and his three comrades try to find the culprits. Instead,  find themselves in the future with no where to go and no idea of what is going on. By chance, they meet Park Ha and end up having to stay at her apartment.

This is a really nice drama, which some epic comedy moments. Song Man Bo is my favouite comrade, who really does pull of a beautiful women very well but then looks super hot in a suit. But the three comrades really do make the perfect comedy trio who are very supportive and loyal of their Prince.

This can be cliché at times and Lee Gak tries his best to show he likes Park Ha in his on way. Although, he can be really clumsy and make a lot of mistakes, I think that is the characters charm. No one is perfect, not even a Crown Prince. If only I could find my Prince……

The romance between Lee Gak and Park Ha is developed really nicely and makes you really hope they get to be together. Of course, helped with the amazing supporting cast that makes it a must see drama.