Recently, I’ve been so bewildered by strange conversations with friend’s. I’ve never been able to hold many intense conversations about anything. Yet, it seems that some random conversations still have the tendency to alter into analytical, profound and insightful discussions. Yet when they do alter, it catches me off guard and surprisingly, it’s morphed into talking about my troubles. I don’t mind talking about myself, only on rare occasions. But when it does come to talking about me, paranoia emerges and I wonder what other’s true intentions are. Of course, I do not, by no mean’s, mean it to be offensive. Its just I have a very cautious nature that can sometimes get in the way when I deal with people whom I do not know.
When it comes to making entries such as this, then it isn’t too much of a problem, due to the fact that not many people will read it and that’s fine by me. A blog entry is meant to inform the reader more about the writer and display some mannerisms and characteristics. Otherwise, how else is an online persona going to be created? Of course there are different levels of an online persona, to which I don’t want to go into but hopefully the context has been put across. I will say that there isn’t any difference between my online persona and the ‘me’ in real life. I don’t really see the point of pretending to be someone your not. I wouldn’t do it in real life, so why should I do so online? It might be easier to hide behind a monitor and take a role of someone who is the opposite of who you truly are. But where is the point? Is it really right to seek acceptance that way?
Reverting back to the topic of the entry of perplexing instances, I found myself in a situation on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) where I had three of my friends there supporting me through about something that I was shocked to see we were talking about. It was about my abase nature and its something I don’t talk much about because everyone who talks to me about it fails to see why I am abase. Instead they focus on telling me what I should be doing. But that just gets stretched as I’ve told many people before about past situations and then about time’s where I have tried to gain more confidence but failed.
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